This was my cousin's family dog, Carly, who was murdered Saturday, March 10, by a black lab. There is a lot of legal and animal control wank my cousin will be dealing with tomorrow because it happened on a private/religious based schoolground near their home, and the lab wasn't on a leash.
Not only was this puppy a gift, used as a therapy dog for the middle child who is a transplant patient, but it was a member of their family. Of the three children, the youngest witnessed the attack and will need therapy now, but an animal won't be joining the family for some time. It was a senseless and avoidable tragedy, which only made it hurt the family more.
Serena ChaCha, you need to grow up, because assuming you know everything having been through Art School is why you failed, is why you (apparently) made no friends, and why some people don't like you. Arguments are not usually civilised, and insulting how people talk is never going to go over well, especially with DRAG QUEENS, because it's all about shade and reading each other, so just deal with it or STFU. You read books, really, so do a lot of people, so why should that make you better? You're 21, you're a baby in this world, so learn from your elders or get out of business.
Sorry for this bit of randomness.
( Under a cut, for reasons.Collapse )
So that is that. If anyone believes there is anything else I can add to encourage my friend to still vote Obama, please let me know.
Fifty Shades of Grey is not the worst erotica, i.e. written porn, i’ve ever read, nor will it be, but there are moments in it where i wondered if it was worth reading to be educated enough to criticises it. this is a tactic i was avoiding in regard to the Twilight Saga, but once i’ve finished this former Twilight fan fiction, i shall get the former out of the way, which i will be reviewing as well.
i have maintained, while reading this, that the book was nothing more than a rough draft, and after finding out that it was self-published as an e-book before being published in paperback did not change my mind that it is wrong to publish anything, even as an e-book, without having it edited properly. because of this, i have been editing it while reading, and if i were allowed the chance, i think i could make this a better book that people would complain about less, although much of it would change enough to make the author rethinking writing ever again.
(i’m not being big-headed about this either, and i almost got into college for the degrees necessary for editorial work, but the option was taken from me. this, however, does not change my abilities validity.)
there are little things here and there that are noticeable to even a teenager in remedial English, but obviously not to a 40-something British housewife having a mid-life crisis from a lack of romance in her marriage, only proposed because of context in the book. although this trilogy started as a fan fiction, and being an author of some myself it would be hypocritical to say against it, there are a few obvious things i noticed which was still rather like the Twilight Saga, seeing as i have read almost half of the first book, this was changed into it’s own story well enough, other errors aside. the plot is interesting, but that is the only saving grace.
none of the events mentioned in this review are in the order which they occur in the book.
major issues through the book are, is as follows: the characters of importance have varying degrees of depth and yet are paper thin, the interactions are hollow and unrealistic, the descriptions are redundant and insult logic, the facts are flawed or obviously exaggerated horribly, conversations that were highly improbable or convoluted, characters which are obviously unstable or not kept consistent by the author, and an overuse of certain themes that became annoying quickly, particularly in the first sexual encounter, then used the rest of the book.
a short list of all the things E.L. James needs to work on, is as follows: Descriptions 101, Character Interactions 101, Realistic Storytelling 101, Researching Places You’ve Never Been 101, How Not To Use Characteristics of Badly Created Characters From Other Fandoms 101, and How People Really Talk with a Special Look at Common Phrases 101.
as for the BDSM elements in the story, from my understanding, no fiction honestly portrays the lifestyle, even when written by someone who partakes, but that, i suppose, is the point of fiction. however, the introduction of Christian Grey’s adolescent introduction to sex being as a Submissive to an older woman, and therefore qualifying as sexual abuse, shows that such situations occur, and happen more often than people realise. the same can be said for the information regarding his mother, a crack whore, and his distance to people in general. granted, that is not the whole story, but it is a start to understanding him.
Grey’s character shows polar opposites quite often, and although it also makes the case of Ana having an affect on him, it is still startling quick, and leaves me to assume that he is, in some way, emotionally immature in a way that does not correspond to his abuse, such as his suddenly sounding like a teenager by calling Ana ‘Baby’ and using the term ‘Laters’. the best sign of his abuse, however, is in his comment that their first sexual encounter is ‘vanilla’, and by his standards, even with his acts of Dominance, was vanilla. while it is most obvious in the two main characters that this was once a fan fiction rewriting Twilight, it is shown the most in Grey than Ana, as he constantly does all the things Edward did with Bella, up until the end. when he makes it clear, for an unspecified reason, that BDSM gives him something he needs, and she asks him to show her, Ana cannot handle it and runs, nothing at all like Bella.
considering most of my review, this is high praise indeed, but unfortunately, just one of two positive things in this first book.
an obvious example of poor research skills would be that at one point in the story, Grey gives Ana a MacBook Pro, inches in width unspecified, that has unrealistic hardware, and upon checking with the store, i found it an impossible configuration no matter how much money a customer is willing to pay, although it might be in an estimated five year. adding to the fact that Apple has never, no matter who the person or how rich, given products to people before they were publicly sold.
one of the most common sexual and medical misconceptions was featured rather prominently in their first sexual encounter, that being how a woman loses her virginity. the heavy mentions of blood after asserting that Ana is very well and naturally lubricated is hypocritical, seeing as bleeding can happen to a women at any time in her sexual experiences if she is not lubricated enough. adding to this, there was inconsistency in whether or not Grey was wearing a condom with mentions of his ‘spilling himself into her’ after making a point of him ripping the foil off and putting the condom on. this happens a few times, but is very obvious continuity error that it deserves mention, seeing as it is made clear that Grey does not have unprotected sex, a quality every man and women should employ, unless he is sure his partner is not at risk of an unwanted pregnancy, granted, the pill is not as effective a method as could be used, but it is still as much protection as a condom.
a common misconception i’ve gleaned from the public who are bashing this book, whether they have read it or not, is that Ana seems to be very receptive to Grey, and him to her, but it is the woman’s reactions which people claim are unrealistic, and they are wrong. granted, this is a very commonly used tactic in erotica, that the women are hypersensitive, but that does not mean it is not possible, whether around an attractive partner or for no reason at all. to act as if women have to fight for an orgasm is sexist, even coming from women, and also misogynist if coming from a man. this is not said in ignorance of fact, primarily being that many erotic fiction use this tactic, but to point out that it is not an argument to be made as unrealistic, only unoriginal.
the next issue is the instability in Ana’s character, with her constantly claiming that although she wants this relationship, this isn’t a normal, but who is she, a virgin who’s never dated before, to say what is and isn’t normal in a relationship? beyond that, she also is unstable, claiming she knows what she wants, she keeps doubting herself, sexually and emotionally, which makes for very poor reasoning, and expresses to the reader herself in other forms, one titled her Inner Goddess, another her Subconscious. this happens more often than her references and metaphors on literary classics, and i don’t quite know what to make of it.
as well, she constantly refers to Grey as a ‘control freak’, but most of the topics she labels as such can either be logically explained or are his wanting her in good health or fair business practices. an example would be Grey wanting her to eat when she barely does, which isn’t really a bad thing to ask, or having random drug testing throughout his company, which is a widely used practice. Ana also underestimates Grey often, rather unfairly and almost as if she knows him while constantly saying she cannot understand him whatsoever, mostly in regards to whether he could try to have a less than strict Dom/Sub relationship with her, considering it is all he’s known in sexual encounters. granted, there are much deeper and darker reasons for why he is the way he is, but those are not mentioned in this volume.
the constant mentions of literary classics, their characters, and her rose-coloured view on romance is not only annoying, but paints these classics inadequately. i understand that most of these analogies and metaphors are not meant to be taken literally, but based on how often they come up, i feel the urge to take her seriously. one example of these instances where i take Ana seriously is when she mentions, while getting ready to meet Grey in contract negotiations, that none of her literary classics mention dealing with makeup. for a college student, she is very dimwitted, as makeup, in one form or another, has existed for centuries and it was taboo for such topics to be in these literary classics. her inexperience would be due to her choice to live with her stepfather than anything else, and there has been countless ways, through friends or even her room mate Kate, to help.
along with this, there is a tendency to reuse and sometimes recycle terms and phrases, which is common, but after the second and third time, tedious and insulting to the reader. a prime example is the overuse of ‘fifty shades of…’ which, although the title, is not required to even be in the series at all, let alone how many times it is, and most certainly not the way it is used. at Chapter Sixteen, it becomes apparent where the title of the trilogy came from, the moment her muse gave her the line, “fifty shades of fucked-up,” which is lyrical the first and second time, a direct quote of the first, but after that, adds to one of Ana’s favourite past times of repeating herself, thus beating these phrases into the reader’s head until we’re ready to beat her right along with Christian as punishment.
the last issue that i kept thinking of while reading was that although the book has some very big words, it is overly verbose, and that is just part of the repetitious nature to this story. it almost seems as if the author used a thesaurus to find these words without looking into whether they truly fit every instance used, while in actuality, it ended as a hit-or-miss. this is truly a shame, because it takes away from what would have been poignant descriptions instead made hokey and lackadaisical.
after reading all of this, i feel the need to point out that the author makes her protagonist an English major and has her going for a job at a publishing company as an editorial assistant, who are known for doing editing and research to make sure the context published by the company is as accurate as possible and makes complete sense. shame that neither of these tactics were taken with this story before any form of publication. this seems like the prelude to a definition —
- IRONY: an unedited book where the main character gets a masters in English to become a editor.
since my cousin read the trilogy and wouldn’t stop going on about all the great parts while most of the internet couldn’t stop talking about the shit, i resolved to read this. now that i’ve finished this first of three books, and based on things i’ve read and been told about, i’m confidante in saying that i firmly believe that what is making most women love this trilogy is not just the sex but also because it shows a submissive topping from the bottom. it is this that makes me want to read the other two books, and the first positive thing about this trilogy that i found. no matter how many other issues and problems with the books, it is this unique plot that shows why this is such a popular series. well, that and sex of course.
now that you’ve read my review of the paper book, here are two other very well written, interesting, and just as spoiling reviews, one by my friend Cassandra on the e-book and her friend Heidi on the audiobook.
i don't have much else to say, except that i know some people who could take some sense from this film, but i don't ever think that will happen.
so my cousin's eldest is the only one home this Spring Break while the rest of the family went to CA, and not because she was in trouble, but because she wanted to go to a party that is tomorrow and would have otherwise missed had she gone with. the trip to CA is only for testing because her sister's 2yr has come, and its an important time. during this week, i've been rather more lenient than her mother would allow, not to break the rules but to give her the experience these rules hinder. today is a prime example in the experience i am letting her have.
last night she had some friends over, not counting the one who's been staying all week, and one of the boys used peer pressure to convince my cousin to text message one of her friends and say something of a sexual nature involving said boy, which for reasons i don't know of has made this friend no longer wish to associate with all parties involved, and now insists my cousin chooses between this friend or the boys, which would mean the end of a relationship with one of them.
i've tried giving my input, a few different views in fact, but either way, until i understand what has this friend in such a state, i don't see her willing to listen to my advice, because she's rather overwhelmed by being told she has to make this choice, something she dearly doesn't want to make.
she made a mistake, she knows that, but she thinks it's something that an apology can simply fix, and i understand easily that it's not, but other than learning more and giving advice, i feel it best to let her alone, because she needs this experience.